British Middle & Sprints

British Middle Champs, Stock Hill

How the hyper veteran males must have heaved a collective sigh of relief not to see Bill Vigar's name on the start list! Bill had demolished the rest of the M80 field in his last high profile middle race up in the Lakes last month. Bill's absence meant the runner-up that day was able to steal in to take the British crown.

Running up on the M60 course, Steve Robertson finished within three minutes of Bristol OK's Gavin Clegg. M70 Tony Hext and M45 Jeff Pakes joined Steve in finishing in the top half of their fields. There were other creditable performances amongst the seniors, in what was technical terrain.

Of the juniors, Annabel Carter was third out of 16 on the Yellow course with Oliver Lewis 6th.

British Sprint Champs, Bath

On the Saturday, Steve and Julia Robertson and Tony Hext ran and all made the final cut, all having qualified (as everyone seemed to do!) from the heats.

The larger age groups had three heat courses for each age group. The results were then combined and then the fastest went into an A final, the next in a B final and the slowest in a C final.

For example, M65 Steve "ran up" in M60, made a couple of mistakes in the heat and so slipped into the C final, which he then won.

Thanks to Steve for explaining to me how the process works.

Parking team

We had a large team of helpers making that part of the event went smoothly. Roger Dickey masterminded the operation. The organising team received a lot of praise for a slick operation and its apparent that Roger and his team can take a good slice of the credit for that.

Poetry in motion?

And finally (as they say), we have a literary offering from one of our parking team, Peter Akers. Yes- a poem.

"So that was what he was doing when not parking campervans", quipped the event's parking supremo, QO's Roger Dickey. In Pete's defence, maybe not enough orienteers are investing in campervans?

Sadly, we don't have any photos of the team or their oversize foam blue pointing hands.

To be read to the tune of the Wurzels' "Combine Harvester" (probably)...

I've got a brand new high-viz jacket, I'll show you where to park,
Don't really know what I'm doing, my it's such a lark,
They've given me a walkie-talkie, they may even call me "Sparks",
Oh I've got a brand new high-viz jacket, I'll show you where to park.

I'm going to make a long line of vehicles as straight as it can be,
Don't care if it is inconvenient, that's not what bothers me,
I'm going for the club's parking award, that's the goal I seek,
So I'm going to make a long line of vehicles as straight as it can be.

I've got an oversized foam finger, it makes me feel so bold,
You have to park where I point it, just do as you are told,
I don't get out so much these days, I think it's 'cos I'm getting old,
But I've got an oversized foam finger, it makes me feel so bold

And the moral is, if you want a car parked properly, leave it to the prose (groan).

Anyway, probably the best poem to come out of the club since, oo, club captain Chris H's summer relays recruitment message a few years back... to the tune of Cliff Richard's "Summer Holiday"!

If you think, I'm joking, see page 8 in the QuOnicle May 2013.

- Jeff Pakes